6 Instincts I Resist
There are times when I regularly remind myself to chose a different path.
Below is a list of first instincts that I try to resist.
Interrupting someone to, strangely, enthusiastically agree. I DO JUST LOVE THAT IDEA!
Asking myself how I caused a migraine. I am not at fault here in migraine-land. Maybe you need to resist health-related blame, too.
Assuming I am entitled to a conflict-free, comfortable and quiet evening with my kids. Parenting is not that luxury. (Sidenote: Relationships are not that luxury). If I am teaching my kids how to be with their feelings, or make and create personal boundaries, more often than not it’s uncomfortable and involves crying and is a bit fraught and I must support and allow the discomfort. My job is not to fix it or ignore it for my own comfort. Fixing it or ignoring it, though, is exactly what I’d love to do after a long day.
Thinking a person suffering from depression needs to be cheered up. It’s my first instinct, every time. I resist it and am gaining more useful skills to help.
Uncomfortably persisting my way through a work day/a bad lunch/too much resistance at Pilates class when I’m not feeling well. I don’t have to: I have sick time, agency to leave, skills to modify. You do, too!
Talking about things AND not talking about things. Deep or avoidant. I go into two modes depending on the vibes of the room and both, without recognition, can be unhelpful.
Do you find yourself in a pattern of thinking or acting that doesn’t serve you or others? Lighthearted or huge, what behaviors do you observe that may warrant deeper investigation?
D, you truly have a gift for succinctly and powerfully conveying your experiences/thoughts/reflections. I love that you share that gift on this platform. Thank you.
Every one of your six land with me this week. Resisting the urge to respond to a friend’s depression with a “Let me help you dig out of this productively” is an especially tough one for me lately.
Also, resisting the urge to get quickly frustrated with a 7 year old who often refuses to talk about his feelings. That one requires many internal pep talks and reminders!